Hello there, internet! Kat is back again, and this week is a little bit emotional. Is that okay with you? Hope so, because we’re gonna dive right in!
Last week, I talked about some random things that had been on my mind lately, including planners and mental health. Well, one of the things that had been on my mind lately that I chose not to include in that post was the idea of a ‘love life’.
We already know that I’m very passionate about you being you and expressing yourself freely. And for the most part people seem to agree with that mindset and we all go along our merry little way. Until someone starts talking about relationships and then things get complicated really fast.
**Quick disclaimer: The opinions I express in this blog post are the result of my own experiences and beliefs and I absolutely support the fact that not everyone is the same as me. But I love you anyways.
Society Lies to Us
The way our society works is very much about the idea of creating perfect people who are good at everything they do. The majority of society claims to promote diversity and love uniqueness. And people will shout that from the rooftops up until someone near and dear to them decides to become that diverse and unique person. Then fear sets in.
“We’re afraid to be alone.”
Now I really want to focus on what society’s relationship’s ‘ideal’ is. I’m very glad to see the general opinion is changing slowly, but the reality is that most people have this idea of success in their heads that they have to get married, settle down, and have kids. Young people may not be ready for a heavy commitment yet, but they would still rather be in a relationship than be single and ‘alone’. Because that’s what it comes down to – we’re afraid to be alone. Society and the media ingrains it into our minds that to be single and alone is a bad thing.
Life Can Be Different
What society tells us is simply not true. Being single, living alone, being content outside of a proper relationship – these things are not unnatural or strange. They are unique aspects about people who just happen to be different than the normal. So many people don’t see it that way – for so long people would always ask me about my dating life, or whether I ‘had met someone special’, but for some reason the response of “I’m happy being single” isn’t enough for most people. They either push harder, convinced that you must like someone, or they brush it off with the standard ‘once you meet someone…’ line. Now, to clarify a little bit, it’s not that these ideas don’t ring true in some sense. There is the possibility that in the future I will meet someone that my soul will fall in love with and I will be extremely happy with that. In fact, if you read the Bible, check out 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. It’s not a bad thing to be single and contented!
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
- 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
You be You
There are many reasons that one might not care much about having a romantic relationship or about settling down. You might be the type of person who needs so much alone time that even having a roommate is too much to handle, let alone a significant other. You might identify in the asexual spectrums. You might just love so many other aspects of life more than romantic attachments.
For me personally, it’s a combination of all of the above. I currently live alone and while I’m not opposed to the idea of a roommate, it’s not something that gets me very excited. In all truthfulness, I just have fallen so in love with the prospect of living a life that is full to overflowing with experiences and lives changed. It’s absolutely possible to have that same type of life together with someone else, but I just don’t need that to make me happy. And that’s the whole point – if I can’t live a full and amazing life now when I’m single and independent, why would it be any different once there is someone else involved?
What Life Can Be
Because I’m single, I was able to go out over the summer and adopt a kitten. I didn’t have to ask anyone (except my other cat) or make arrangements as to who was going to feed it and clean the litter boxes. That is my responsibility (okay some of this might not apply if you have roommates but whatever). I’m in the process of making plans to travel to California in January and the amount of excitement that I am experiencing about the idea of a two day SOLO road trip is probably way too high.
I don’t spend my days wishing I had someone to share these good moments with. When it rains, I run outside and dance in the parking lot and sing at the top of my lungs because I am ME and this is EXACTLY where I am meant to be at this time. I get to spend my mornings in absolute peace and serenity with God because He is the only one who really matters anyways. At this season of my life, single is just another label to use, and if that *label ends up being part of my identity for the long-term, or even for my lifetime? I say…. BRING IT ON.
*On another note, why do we need labels? It’s so weird. Anyways.
****Disclaimer again – I understand that some people take these subjects very personally and I do not want to generalize anyone into a category or put anyone down for anything at all. Believe me, I can ooh and ahh over gorgeous engagement or wedding pictures as well as the next person.
I’m not going to ask whether you relate to this post or for opinions (we didn’t even touch on gender roles in this post!), but feel free to share as you wish to!
What I do want to ask is this – what is one thing that makes you burst with overwhelming love and joy? Please share!
That’s all for today! I’m going to go enjoy my white chocolate mocha and revel in the perfection that is autumn. Have a great day! K out.