I hinted at this a little bit when I wrote about my vacation, but I wanted to expand some more on a few things.
But first, let me make a few points that will stand true throughout this ramble:
- I am an introvert, who relies heavily on space and supportive friends.
- I need room for self expression.
- Anxiety makes it very hard for me to go out into social situations.
When I moved to Lubbock eight months ago, it was for the purpose of attending university. I have some extended family in the area, but other than that, I knew absolutely nobody. As of yet, I don’t even have my horse here. There isn’t even a piano in my house, which means that I have to go up to campus in order to play or practice.
For a bit of review, I have several hobbies. When I was living with my parents, I spent most of my time playing the piano, doing all sorts of things with the horses, and watching a lot of Netflix. When I felt like it, I would also write, read a lot of books, organize things, and every once in a while draw or paint.
So fast forward to now, being independent and in an entirely different situation of life. During the spring semester, things were better. I was leasing a horse for part of the semester, so I was riding a few times a week. I was playing the piano very regularly as well, and writing papers for class. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think about much else.
But its been over a month since I finished finals and if I think about what I’ve accomplished since then, and honestly, its not much. I’ve been writing more, I guess (as evidenced by this blog) and working practically every day. And I’ve been having a lot of days where I don’t really know what my purpose is at the moment. It gets a little bit better when I’m getting something ready for next semester, or when I think about what I might do after graduation (or yesterday when I picked up a new kitten).
So what is one to do when you’re living your life day in and day out with little degree of satisfaction?
Obviously, find a dream or purpose to keep you going, right? So I’ve been searching for what I really want to do with my life and the process is quite interesting thus far.
*I don’t know how many parts there will be to this mini-journey-series-thing, but I have three-ish posts in mind already. In the meantime, I will likely post about other things as they happen (aka kitten), so we shall see what happens.